Something Missing
by SilverMikazuki
Summary: What if, after the battle at Ba Sing Se, even Zuko believed Aang was dead? Slash.


**Something Missing**

An Avatar: The Last Airbender Story

A Zukaang Story

Talking _thinking_ Narration

**Author's Notes: **I may not own Avatar, but I love it enough to spontaneously write this fanfic… months ago. How the hell I lost it and never uploaded it I don't know. But here it is! In all it's _YAOI_ glory! Hope you like it! It takes place during the final season.

* * *

After his death in Ba Sing Sei, Zuko returned to the Fire nation a hero. He was showered in praise, deluged by honor, and enveloped in privilege. He had everything he had ever wanted. He had his life back. He had Mai.

During the day, he smiled, waved at his adoring fans, and thanked the servants Azula threw aside like used towels. With the sun, he rose and shone brightly as the royal Prince of the Fire Nation. And when the moon to its place in the sky, he cried. Tears of regret and despair rolled down his cheeks, soiled the cushions beneath him. And in his own storm, streaks of confusion rippled through his mind and down his arms. He gripped the sheets so hard they would tear. Why?

He asked himself every night, _why_ it happened. Why he could never stop the fits that racked his body like lightning. Why he was so… empty, now that his life was so full.

No answers came to him. So he resigned himself to blaming his scar for the bed. And Mai for the sheets. Though he had long since left their relationship behind him. Now, they only moved in clockwork. Eventually, Zuko crumbled. He collapsed underneath himself like the body struck with lightening had collapsed against tan arms in the dimly lit room. Without a thought, he left his life to ashes, and took solace in his void.

He traveled again, following the sobs and cries of night. With each passing village, he grew weaker, sunk further into his darkness. The faces were a blurring of paints. The colors fell into each other until he could not tell red, from blue or green. He stopped searching, if he had ever begun; he merely existed.

And then he saw it. _Gray_. It stuck out against the vibrant canvas like a knife to his soul. Immediately he rose from the debris and followed it. With each step, the blur faded into sharpness. He could see. Hear. _Feel_.

He was back in the Fire Nation. Or maybe he had never left. But there _he_ was, what was missing. Zuko pushed his hair aside - suddenly it was much longer - and stared. He didn't move. He didn't dare breathe. He just stared. Gray. Those pools of gray were something he never thought he'd see again. And even though his blue lines were covered, and his arrows were hidden by stolen clothing and misplaced belts, Zuko knew what had been missing. What _he_ needed.

The _Avatar_.

"He's... alive."

Though his haze had finally been lifted, Zuko found himself running, uncontrolled. He ran without a second thought – the same sentence running through his rusty mind.

"_The __**Avatar**__ was __**alive**__._"

He was sprinting now; he barely noticed the beach to his right or the cliff-side to his left. Bathed in amber, the Avatar stood alone. The monk had changed his clothes, but Zuko could see. His green cloak flew off of him as he grew near - when did he get that? And then Zuko was there, crushing him in an embrace, holding him tightly, fiercely, desperately.

"Whoa. Excuse me sir, but who are you?"

Zuko looked down, realizing what he had just done. He blushed a deep scarlet and released his grip on the boy, mumbling a bashful apology.

The Avatar looked up at him with grinning eyes. "It's alright… Zuko?!"

Before his eyes, or at least the good one, had time to widen, he was thrown back by a burst of wind. Face against the rocky beach, he chuckled to himself. A time before he would have brushed off the strike, and the avatar would have had to fight. Now, when he provided no danger, he couldn't move after the one hit. He laughed again to himself as his vision blackened.

"He's waking up. Are the bonds tight?"

He heard the voice, recognized it, but with his eyes still masked in darkness, he couldn't place it.

"I really don't think that's necessary Katara. He looked like he could barely move."

That voice he knew. The Avatar. And that placed the last too, the Water Tribe girl. Finally, the world swirled back into view. Above him, he noticed the girl, her brother, the Earthbender he had met but once, and, of course, the Avatar.

Contempt. Confusion. Curiosity. Those were what he saw in they eyes above him. Each pair reflecting a particular clearly and sincerely. Except the Avatar. In those steely pools, Zuko saw a maelstrom of compassion, concern and caution. He knew if he kept searching, he could find thousands more.

"…A-avatar?" He groaned, and then wondered why he had bothered to speak and why his voice sounded so much like a weasel-cat's scratch post.

"Yeah I-" The monk started.

"What are you doing here?" The Water- Katara demanded. Her voice was as sharp as her gaze.

"I…" Zuko mumbled. "I don't know. I just… ended up here."

Katara scoffed, her glare persistent. "We should leave. Now."

"What, why?!" Sokka exclaimed, obviously annoyed at being so quickly uprooted.

"Because!" His sister growled. "Fire Nation soldiers could be here any moment. As it is, they probably know Aang is alive now."

_Aang_.

The Firebender heard every word, but his eyes never left Aang's face. He raked his golden gaze down every surface. Inhaling the sight as if he had been trapped, submerged in the waters of his own soul, and now, he was finally able to breathe.

"There are no soldiers," Zuko croaked. "I'm not with the Fire Nation any longer."

Though he was mainly attempting to assuage Katara's fears, he still never looked away from the Avatar's pale face.

He had hair, Zuko noted. Somehow he had missed that new feature. He supposed he was too busy noticing the past.

"Bullshit," Katara declared.

Toph shook her head, finally throwing in her two-cents. "He's telling the truth, and I don't sense any other people nearby either."

Aang must have noticed his staring. The airbender's face colored and his gray orbs met Zuko's ambers only for a moment, before darting off to examine the side of the cave.

"Whatever," Katara seethed. "He's still dangerous."

"I… I don't think so. And he's ill, I can't just leave him," Aang said, offering Zuko a shy smile.

The fire prince mustered up a grin back.

"Do what you want. I'm going to find food."

With that, Katara was gone. Sokka looked among those left and then scurried after his sister.

"I better go with her and cool her down," He muttered.

Toph sighed. "Well I'm hungry. I'm coming too. You alright to watch Sparky here Twinkletoes?"

Aang nodded.

And so they were alone. And Zuko was tied down.

"Twinkletoes?" He managed, letting out a small laugh.

Aang blushed again. "Yeah well, she called you Sparky."

And they laughed. Just laughed, it was nothing more than that, nothing less. Small giggles, happy, those filled with sheer amusement. But Zuko was weak. And his deep laughter flooded into a stream of coughs.

"Are you alright?" Aang asked, genuinely concerned.

Zuko smiled, he barely felt the ache of his own disregard. "I am."

Then the Avatar remembered. "Wait… what are you doing here Zuko? And… why did you hug me?"

"I'm not…" Zuko groaned and his chest ached from the stretch of his bonds.

"Zuko! Here, let me," Aang voiced hurriedly.

In seconds, the ex-prince was cut free. His bonds limp on the ground. Strong, agile hands helped him sit against the wall of the cave. Zuko breathed in the airbender's scent. He didn't know. How could he have known. _This_ was what he had been missing. Aang.

"Wait, you let me loose," Zuko realized.

Aang was busy ruffling through a bag, but he looked up and grinned at the Firebender. "And?"

Zuko colored. He hadn't felt trust, sincere trust, in a long while. And he most certainly had not expected it from the Avatar. The boy he had, for so long, hunted down like prey. He knew, from his own experience, that being under such dangerous scrutiny was taxing, and haunting. It was painful in so many ways. Yet, with all of that history, Aang still trusted him.

"I… I guess I don't know why you would trust me," the ex-prince finally replied.

"Well," The Avatar mused. "I guess I can just sense something. Sincerity. Plus, I think I could probably take you."

He winked at his little joke, and the firebender felt his cheeks heat up once more.

"Speaking of which, what's happened to you Zuko?" Aang asked curiously.

The runaway didn't know where to begin. Or even what to say. He wasn't sure if he even knew himself. He just…

"I just knew something was missing."

The airbender only cocked his head. Zuko didn't blame him, it sounded absolutely ludicrous to him as well.

"When I was in the Fire Nation," He began, attempting to elaborate. "I was the prince again. I was honored and respected and loved… to a certain degree anyway. But… even with all that, that which I had been searching for my whole life, I felt… incomplete. I felt empty."

Aang hummed, his gray eyes examining the ceiling of the cave, as if it held some answers. "Do you feel that way now?"

"No."

He had said it without thought, his golden eyes unwavering in their conviction. As he sat there, tired, hungry, weak, but staring into the Avatar's orbs, he felt… filled.

Aang only smiled sheepishly.

"Here, eat this," He said, handing him a piece of bread from his bag. "It's all I've got at the moment, but you look like you need it. It doesn't look like you've eaten in weeks."

Zuko swallowed, taking the bread appreciatively. "I don't know actually. Since I left the Fire Nation, everything seemed to blur together. I'm not even sure how long I've been gone."

"Three weeks."

The two snapped their heads towards the voice. Three Fire Nation officers stood at the opening to the cave. The two flanking the obvious leader lit fires in their hands.

"And I'm afraid the Fire Lord wants you back. Immediately."

With that, they struck blasting the pair with flames. Aang blocked with Earthbending, but Zuko knew what was at stake. He was being hunted, not Aang. The two obviously knew nothing. Still figuring the Avatar for dead, they must have not even realized who was before them.

"Stop!" Zuko shouted.

Aang looked back at him, confused.

"I can't allow you to sacrifice yourself for me. They can't know who you are. Surprise is your only advantage here. I have to let them take me," He answered as another ball of fire flew over their heads.

Aang stared incredulously. "You don't know what they'll do to you. You're a traitor again. I'm not going to just give you up."

The wall of earth exploded at that instance, sending Aang flying back. He landed on his feet, but the three soldiers were upon them in an instant, all ready to fight.

Zuko pulled himself to his feet. Aang was alive. It was… that was what he needed to know. The firebender didn't know why, but the Avatar was what had left him so empty. He couldn't allow Aang to die again. He stood in front of the airbender glaring at the Fire Nation men before him.

"You came here for me," He managed. "Take me and leave him alone."

They sneered.

"The Fire Lord wants you alive, but he said nothing about unscathed. And this Earth Kingdom scum is not protected at all," The leader declared, charging up another blast.

In a flurry of elements, Zuko watched as Aang's friends entered the fray, tossing the soldiers to the side with minimal effort. He managed to see the last slip into unconsciousness before the same darkness overtook him.

Once again, the ex-prince awoke tied up. This time he questioned whether he truly was awake, as he saw nothing but white, and heard only the sound of rushing wind. Beside him, he felt warmth, though he did not know its source.

He thought, somewhat wistfully, that perhaps he had died. But the throbbing headache and stiffness in his limbs contradicted him. He allowed the stillness to linger, somehow less stagnant than his entire trip from the Fire Nation's capitol. His mind whispered words of contentment and confusion, but he the silence drowned them out. Eventually, Zuko would have to move. He would have to explain, to Aang, to the group, and to himself. But for now, he focused on the silence, the warmth, and his breathing.

When he wrestled free of the blissful sleep, a friend he had not seen in what felt like a millennium, he could see again. And he was greeted by the face of the Avatar, a sight he admitted to himself would be nice to wake up to every morning.

"You're awake," The boy stated, smiling at him gently.

Katara settled into view, still glaring.

"Great," she mumbled.

The memories of before flooded back to Zuko, who suddenly wished he could be back in the blinding darkness of sleep.

"The Firebenders," He croaked. "What happened? Did they discover you were the Avatar?"

"Nope, only thought he was an Earthbender," Toph answered, though from his bound perspective, he could not see her.

"No thanks to you," Katara continued.

Aang shook his head. "I told you Zuko tried to defend me."

The firebender heard Sokka's laugh from behind him. "Like he could. I don't think he could defend you from a sock puppet."

"I think even you could take him now Sokka," Toph added merrily.

"Exactly! …Hey!"

Zuko smiled. He always imagined the Avatar's group to be… different. And he found he liked the feel it had. Family. He felt family.

"As fun as it is to laugh at Sokka," Katara interjected. "We need to decide what we're doing with the prince-"

"Ex-prince," Zuko muttered.

"Whatever."

Aang looked at her confusedly. "Isn't it obvious? We're taking him with us. And I don't think he needs to be bound."

Zuko couldn't help but grin. The Avatar's trust felt like wings against his skin, reminding him of the feeling the night before. Like flying.

"Don't be so happy _Prince_ Zuko," Katara seethed. "I don't trust you one bit. I'd say we should leave you here and go, but I'm afraid you'll ruin Aang's cover."

Aang frowned. "I told you that he was concerned about that. He didn't want to jeopardize anything."

"He's only trying to gain your trust, so he can stab you in the back later."

Zuko's good eye widened at the waterbender's words. Like stab of pain, he remembered the softly glowing cave, the girl's understanding words, and the hurt on her face as he attacked her with flames. He bit his cheek until he could taste the rust in his mouth.

"I don't know Katara, I… I think he's sincere."

But the Avatar's words could not heal his wound. The azure eyes turned away from the airbender. He had no right to have Aang's trust. Katara was right.

"Why _did_ you try to protect Aang?" Sokka questioned.

The ex-prince searched for the right words. Once again, he found himself lost. "I know that… well, that I was wrong – to side with my father, to hunt you down, to not have realized sooner what… what I was missing."

His eyes searched Aang's for a response.

But it was Katara who answered him. "And what would that be?"

Zuko was glad that this time, he did not vocalize his first thought. He continued to watch the Avatar but turned to Katara as he thought about his response.

"The truth," He said, finally.

"I think… we put it to a vote," Aang said suddenly. "I vote to let Zuko join us. Not as a prisoner, but… as a friend. I think he's sincere. And, if nothing else, once he's back to full health, he could teach me Firebending."

Toph walked into view with a strangely knowing grin. "I agree. Let him join. It'll definitely spice things up around here."

Even though he knew she could not truly see him, Zuko couldn't help but squirm under her gaze.

"I guess I don't really care. I just wanna defeat the Fire Lord. If this is the way you think we should do it, whatever," Sokka added with a shrug.

All eyes turned to Katara, though Sokka dared only to look from the corner of his eye.

"I think you're all idiots," She grumbled. "But fine. If that's how everyone feels."

With that, Aang released him, and the others wandered off to set up camp. The airbender helped Zuko lean against Appa, and took out more food for him to eat.

"How did you let yourself get in this condition?" He asked quietly.

Zuko stared at the Earth beside him. "For a long time, I felt nothing. It was as if my entire life meant nothing. I was lost."

"When did it start?"

Zuko's gaze was pure. "When you died."

"Or at least… when I thought you had," He added, his voice louder than before.

Aang looked uncertain. Zuko wondered if he was the personification of his own mind. At the moment, he was unsure of a lot.

"Why?" Aang asked.

"I-"

For the second time since he had awoken from his daze, Zuko cursed his father. Aang leapt forward, bending water from a nearby pool to stop the arrow that hurtled toward him. Bounty hunters. Far more than the three soldiers that had found him last time.

Zuko growled in pain as he forced himself to stand, only to be knocked back by a light splash of the Avatar's water. He could hear the silent, 'get down,' but the ex-prince hated feeling so useless. And he couldn't leave Aang to fight alone.

"I knew it!" He heard as Katara and the others fought their way back towards them.

Aang said nothing, perhaps busy with the firebender. But Zuko questioned if he also agreed with the watertribe girl.

Together, like they did everything, the Gaang fought off the, Zuko counted, six bounty hunters. Aang managed to use only waterbending, but the golden-eyed teen could tell that he struggled to do so. Which is why, when Zuko saw the arrow fly, he didn't hesitate to throw himself in front of it. Strangely, he couldn't find the pain. His mind reasoned this was due to shock. But he laughingly wondered if maybe he was too happy to feel such purpose in dying, that he couldn't grasp the hurt of living.

Regardless, he could see, through blurred eyes, as Aang growled at his fall. Water streaking through the air, the hunters collapsing together, and the 100-year-old boy rushing beside him, registered in Zuko's mind, even if the images swam together as if in molasses. His ears felt clogged, drowned by the water of past tears, but he could make out Aang's hurried pleas. He even managed surprise at the soothing heal of a waterbender's touch.

If he could have laughed to himself, he would have, but he settled for scoffing mentally as he again slipped into unconsciousness.

This time, a squeeze of the hand pulled Zuko from his slumber. He lazily found himself wishing it to be Aang's, but even in his shaken state he knew that wasn't possible. But once again, the firebender was wrong, and he gazed confusedly at the Avatar above him.

"I felt it, you know," Aang said softly, staring into the light of the moon.

Zuko's mind grasped that he was beside Aang, at the front of Appa, while the rest of the group must have been asleep behind them, but his eyes could only notice the way the moonlight danced across the aribender's gray irises.

"Felt what?" He whispered.

Aang sighed, a soft smile painted on his lips. "Your 'why.' When you took the arrow for me, I don't know quite how to describe it, but I felt… you."

He looked down at the golden eyes. Zuko wondered if Aang would keep his hair.

The ex-prince bit his lip before speaking. He was afraid. How did the Avatar know… when he could not even understand himself? "What did you feel?"

"Love."

Zuko's eye widened. Inside him, it felt as though nerves rewound themselves, as though he had been a flame, dying without air, but now he could breathe. His mind struggled to catch up to the understanding his heart had felt for days now.

Aang was right.

"…So obvious," Zuko muttered, and Aang laughed, which made Zuko blush.

"Do you love me, Prince Zuko?"

Zuko pushed against the Avatar's hand, shifting himself to sit up.

He pushed his hand through the short black hair. "Yes, forever and always."

Aang grinned against Zuko's lips, holding the firebender close. Years earlier, Aang had watched Zuko sleep, the blue spirit mask laid against the grass beside him. Zuko had thrown a fireball as the wind spirit flew off into the trees, his insides twisted with rage. Now, there was only content. The warmth beside him, the purity of his mind, Zuko was complete.


End file.
